Friday, February 8, 2013

Corporate Bullshit? The stench is rising!

Can some one intelligently explain to me why we're supposed to buy this advertising bullshit...."Portland Brewing is Back."
I mean....WTF! It's brewed in the Pyramid Alehouse. We all know that breweries been on the skids for years! They change beer labels quicker than Jeff Alworth can change his opinion to suit his needs... (Thanks for letting me poke at ya Jeff!) How brain-dead zombie moron stupid does "North American Breweries Inc." think we really are? At the bottom of the NEW Portland Brewing website it even says, "Visit our friends at Pyramid." That would be a incestual friendly relationship!
Beyond the obvious stupidity of misguided branding.... Portland Brewing's beers appear to have changed from McTarnahan's original Scottish Style ale and Wookstock Oaked IPA to just plain boring Amber and IPA ales. Where's the Zig ZAg Pils, Oregon Honey Beer, BlackWatch Cream Porter and other from the original catalog?


This shit just irks the hell out of me! Big corporate Brewing conglomerate trying to dupe society for profit! I say Fuck YOU North American Breweries! Go pedal your shitty beer and false advertising somewhere else... Maybe InBev needs another Bedfellow!


BTW..... North American Breweries Inc also own and produce: Dundee, Genesee, Genny Light, Honey Brown, Imperial, Labatt 52, Labatt, Blue Labatt , Blue Light Labatt, Blue Light Lime, Magic Hat, Portland Brewing, Pyramid, Seagram's, Escapes Seagram's Smooth. It's funny that they have Pyramid and Portland Brewing separate....The STENCH of BIG corporate bullshit couldn't get any riper than with these shifty bastards.

Monday, November 5, 2012

What do YOU expect from a Holiday Ale Fest?

Is it soapbox time? Yes it is!

What should we expect from a self-titled 'Holiday Ale Fest?' Simple answer would be, Holiday Ales! But, what are Holiday Ales? Well.... to start... it states, "ales." OK. Do we want to go historically? OK.... Within the existence of International Holiday Ale's being produced, they have been beers that are unique in design. That puts it pretty simple. While some breweries have made modified or created stronger versions of their ales and call them a Holiday product, most go out on limp and do something "Special" for the Holiday season. Utilizing, interesting ingredients, complex malts, processing, hop additions and the like. The basic definition of a Holiday ale is something that is uniquely different from standard offerings.

Holiday Ale fest should then be an experience of something Special. Beyond the norm? Beyond what we've all had in the past? Correct?

Listed below is the Standard List of this years Holiday Ale fest. Let's see if this Holiday Ale fest practices what it's preaching.

The Doc has always been a big advocate for the Holiday Ale Fest and has commended their efforts to bring forth some interesting, special an unique  International Holiday Beers. But....the tides may have turned.

* Denotes Doc Worts comments

  • 10 Barrel Brewing Co.  *(Possibly worth tasting...needs definition. DW)
    Frosty's Revenge

    Winter Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Bend, OR 10barrel.com

     
  • Alameda Brewing Co.

    Alameda Brewing Co. *(Unique? NO! Over exposed@ HAF)
    Papa Noel's Special Reserve (2011)

    Olde AleABV: 8.2% • IBUs: 30 • O.G.: 20.2° • F.G.: 4.5°
    This beer is brewed in the style of a big, malty English Olde Ale. Hopped with Styrian Goldings in the kettle and fermenter, this ale has a distinct English character. Post fermentation, this beer was aged on Whiskey soaked French white oak spires, lending some tannins and dryness to the huge amount of Crystal malt employed in the grist. You may find hints of toffee, raisins, chocolate or caramel in this dark copper brew.

       Beer Location: TBD

     
  • Bayern Brewing Co.

    Bayern Brewing Co. *(Standard production style... not an ALE. Dark vs blond?  Blond would be far more unique!)
    Dark Doppel Bock

    German Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR bayernbrewery.com

     
  • Bear Republic Brewing Co.

    Bear Republic Brewing Co. *(Stout! OK.... what makes it unique?)
    Prepare To Be Boarded

    Stout
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
     
  • Breakside Brewery

    Breakside Brewery *(Nothing to entice)
    TBD

    Red Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR breaksidebrews.com

     
  • BridgePort Brewing Co.

    BridgePort Brewing Co. *(AGAIN! Not unique.... we've all had it)
    Old Knucklehead

    Barley Wine
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD

     
  • Burnside Brewing Co.

    Burnside Brewing Co. *(What is it?)
    White Out Arctic Ale

    Winter Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR burnsidebrewco.com

     
  • Cascade Brewing

    Cascade Brewing *(Another Stout! OK... what makes it something Holiday related?))
    Diesel #2

    Stout
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR cascadebrewing.com

     
  • Coalition Brewing Co.

    Coalition Brewing Co. *(Strong ale doesn't say a whole lot)
    The Lost Glove

    Strong Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR coalitionbrewing.com

     
  • Collaborator

    Collaborator *(Been there, done that! Anything interesting about this beer?)
    Barrel-Aged Hallucinator

    Olde Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR oregonbrewcrew.com

     
  • Columbia River Brewing Co.

    Columbia River Brewing Co. *(Oh! A Chocolate Cherry Stout.... pass)
    Imperial Stumblers Chocolate Cherry Stout

    Stout
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
     
  • Crux Fermentation Project

    Crux Fermentation Project *(No info)
    TBD

    Winter Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD

     
  • Deschutes Brewery

    Deschutes Brewery *(No info.... maybe some more of that Acetone Finger nail polish beer?)
    TBD

    Other
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
     
  • Dogfish Head Craft Brewery

    Dogfish Head Craft Brewery *(Not unique.... can buy it in most beer stores every year)
    Raison D'Etre

    Belgian Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD

     
  • Eel River Brewing Co.

    Eel River Brewing Co. *(OK! Blend of what? Infected throw away beer or what? More info)
    Noel Barrel-Aged Blend

    Blend
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Fortuna, CA eelriverbrewing.com
  • Firestone Walker Brewing Co.

    Firestone Walker Brewing Co. *(Wanna bet it's one of there standard run beers?)
    TBD

    Other
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Paso Robles, CA firestonebeer.com

     
  • Fort George Brewery

    Fort George Brewery *(How about 3 stupid men? What the hell is it?)
    The Three Wisemen

    Other
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD

     
  • Full Sail Brewing Co.

    Full Sail Brewing Co. *(I have some of these in cellar!)
    Black Gold (2011)

    Stout
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Hood River, OR fullsailbrewing.com

     
  • Gigantic Brewing

    Gigantic Brewing  *(Olde ale? OK.... uniqueness?)
    TBD

    Olde Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR giganticbrewing.com

     
  • Gilgamesh Brewing Co.

    Gilgamesh Brewing Co. *(its Belgian! oooo! That tell me nothing!)
    Blitz'n Prancer

    Belgian Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD

     
  • Golden Valley Brewery

    Golden Valley Brewery *(Holy Crap! Another non described Stout!? Is it stout year? That's a standard beer style if I'm not mistaken?)


    Black Panther

    Stout
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    McMinville, OR goldenvalleybrewery.com

     
  • Kells Brewpub

    Kells Brewpub
    Kells Mexican Mocha Porter  *( Oh! Mexican Mocha!? Let me guess.... Mocha cinnamon flavored. Maybe.)

    Porter
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR kellsbrewpub.com

     
  • Lagunitas Brewing Co.

    Lagunitas Brewing Co. *(Bet it's drier than 2012.... PASS!)
    Olde Gnarly Wine (2010)

    Barley WineABV: 10.6% • IBUs: 69 • O.G.: 24.0°
    Making a Mondo Ultra Mega Super Premium barley wine is a little like having a kid. The first part is fun and messy, it takes a while to ferment, and then a little longer to mature. It is expensive and takes of a lot of space. You worry about how it'll grow up and whether or not you'll still be friends. Eventually, it stays out all night and comes home with its skirt on backwards. You know how it is...

       Beer Location: TBD
    Petaluma, CA lagunitas.com

     
  • Lompoc Brewing

    Lompoc Brewing
    Francl'y Brewdolph (2011) *(Ho hum!)

    Belgian Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR newoldlompoc.com


     
  • Lucky Labrador Brewpub

    Lucky Labrador Brewpub *(And yet another Stout!! WOW! When did a Standard Stout become a Holiday Ale?)
    Milk and Cookies

    Stout
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR luckylab.com

     
  • McMenamins (Kennedy School)

    McMenamins (Kennedy School) *(Well! A Scottish ale! That's out of the norm, but not so far out enough to call it a special Holiday Beer)
    Blenshee Blizzard

    Scotch Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD

     
  • Migration Brewing

    Migration Brewing *(I guess the allure of it being Belgian is the catch?)
    Franky Paws

    Belgian Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR migrationbrewing.com

     
  • Natian Brewery

    Natian Brewery  *( OH MY FRICKIN GOD! REALLY?!)
    10BBL Overture

    Stout
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR natianbrewery.com

     
  • New Belgium Brewing Co.

    New Belgium Brewing Co. *(Oh no... you can't find this on the self in Safeway every year)
    Frambozen

    Belgian Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Fort Collins, CO newbelgium.com

     
  • Ninkasi Brewing Co.

    Ninkasi Brewing Co.  *(Will it be infected this year or under-fermented? Alert the media! A CDA is now a Holiday beer!)
    Ancient Alien

    CDA
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Eugene, OR ninkasibrewing.com

     
  • Oakshire Brewing

    Oakshire Brewing  *( Just saw it at New Seasons!)
    Very Ill Tempered Gnome

    Strong Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Eugene, OR oakbrew.com
     
  • Pyramid Brewing Co.

    Pyramid Brewing Co. *(What kind of fruit? Oh hell... it's Pyramid, who cares!)
    Figgy Pudding

    Fruit Beer
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR pyramidbrew.com
  • Rock Bottom Brewery (Portland)

    Rock Bottom Brewery (Portland) *(A Pilsner!?)
    Wenceslas

    Pilsner
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR rockbottom.com
     
  • Rogue Ales Brewery

    Rogue Ales Brewery *(Another mystery Belgian! Will it be unique or just a Belgian ale? Have to go to find out! NOT!)
    Brew 15,000

    Belgian Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Newport, OR rogue.com

     
  • Rusty Truck Brewing

    Rusty Truck Brewing *(Please!)
    TBD

    Porter
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
     
  • Seven Brides Brewing

    Seven Brides Brewing *(Brandy Barrel Pils?  Hmmm.... That might be worth trying)
    Brandy Barrel-Aged Lil's Pils

    Pilsner
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Silverton, OR sevenbridesbrewing.com

     
  • Speakeasy Brewing Co.

    Speakeasy Brewing Co. *(I'll put my magic swami hat on... uh....uh... Payback Porter?)
    TBD

    Porter
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    San Francisco, CA goodbeer.com

     
  • Stone Brewing Co.

    Stone Brewing Co. *(Porters and Stouts! I'm getting bored just reading the repetition!)
    Suitable For Cave Aging (2011)

    Porter
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Escondido, CA stonebrew.com

     
  • Terminal Gravity Brewing Co.

    Terminal Gravity Brewing Co.  *(Go to Safeway,,,, they probably have some in the store room they couldn;t sell)
    Festivale (2008)

    Winter Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Enterprise, OR

     
  • The Commons Brewery

    The Commons Brewery *(BELGIAN? yet again.... entice me with more info)
    TBD

    Belgian Ale
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Portland, OR commonsbrewery.com
     
  • Vertigo Brewing

    Vertigo Brewing
    Bob Barley's Dreaded Holiday Ale *(They're still around?)

    CDA
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Hillsboro, OR vertigobrew.com

     
  • Walking Man Brewing Co.

    Walking Man Brewing Co. *(I've had this.... it's very good..... don't need to go to fest to try it.)
    Santa's Little Black Homo

    CDA
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD
    Stevenson, WA

     
  • Widmer Brothers Brewing Co.

    Widmer Brothers Brewing Co. *(What are the chances of something beyond Brrrrrr? )
    TBD

    Other
    Beer details coming soon.

       Beer Location: TBD


Not looking very promising!  Lots of Stouts and Porters and Belgians.... all with no other descriptors.  While I leave the door open for some of these beers to be promising... the repetition of styles, lack of uniqueness and the absence of beers from outside the "NW bubble" is concerning. So far, the Doc has zero interest,,,!


Maybe at a latter date we can review the beers from "rare" category.  You know, the beers that cost more because they were sitting in a cold basement for a few more years. Some weren't worth drinking the first time, others may be the Golden Nuggets of the past... when the festival actually served up something interesting.  ;-)