Beervana: Caveat Emptor for Meeks and Geeks

This occurrence happened at a popular local beer pub and left me a little dumbfounded.

I approach every pub visit with my eyes and ears open. I don’t look for things to complain about, I just let things happen, as they will.

I met some friends at the pub for a quick beer. We sat at a table, where the service we received was perfectly fine. Our server was attentive and knowledgeable about beer. When going to a well-stocked tap house it usually takes me awhile to select a beer (depending on the selection). Sometimes a server will think I’m confused or overwhelmed and ask me, what type of beer I like? I except this as being helpful and may ask some questions. I don’t play dumb, nor do I cop an elitist attitude towards beer. I go in neutral and observe…

What I experienced today was watching two patrons who interacted at the opposite ends of the scale. The first guy, we’ll call him Jeb, completely ignorant about craft beers, but curious. The other, let’s call him George, was completely full of his self-proclaimed masterful knowledge of beer. Both were clueless in one-way or the other. ;-}

BTW, I’m not sitting at the bar; I’m just observing all this from a close table.

Jeb walks in and sits at bar and orders a Miller Lite! Jeb’s about 35 and dressed like an everyday guy. Server smiles and states, “We don’t serve Miller Lite… We don’t sell any mainstream commercial American beers…” He directs Jeb to the Beer List and walks away.

Other end of the bar, George walks in and stands at the bar. George is probably about mid to late 20’s with a funky buzz cut, five o’clock shadow (at noon), thin and has on a hat from a long past decade and era. He stands at the bar and studies the beer selection for like 10 seconds and CALLS the server over (like the server is his private servant) and bluntly asks, “What’s the hoppiest beer you have?” The server eyeballs the guy up and down and states the name of an IIPA. Server states, “The beer has 100 IBU’s…. Is that Hoppy enough?” George says, ”Give me a minute!”

Back to Jeb…. Jeb has given up on reading the beer list and is obviously confused. Server walks back over and asks Jeb, “What can I get you?” Jeb has no clue and starts telling a story about meeting a bartender in Atlanta who told him the best beer is a Guinness and Miller Light split. Black and Tan, I would assume? Server states, “We don’t have Miller Light… DO you know what you want?” Jeb says, “I’d like to try something different, what should I get?” Server rolls his eyes and states, “How about a Pils?” Jeb says, “OK” and off the server goes…..

As the server is pulling the Pils pint he asks George, “Have you decided?” George says, “Give me an IPA…. Do you have any IPA’s with Amarillo Hops?” Bartender doesn’t look up, but states, “I don’t know if any of our beers have Amarillo Hops?” George cocks his head and with a condescending voice says, “Why not?”

Server delivers beer to Jeb and continues to walk out of sight.

Jeb tries to start up a conversation with the guy sitting beside him at the bar, “I’d really like to try some of these Northwest beers, but I have no clue where to start…” Bubba (the guy sitting next to Jeb), glances nervously at Jeb, like Jeb’s going to steal his beer and under his breath, he utters, “Start anywhere…” Bubba goes back to drinking his beer and his head sinks back between his shoulders.

Server reappears! He tells George, none of the current beers have Amarillo Hops. George says, “Well… I’ll take whatever you have that’s organic….” Without skipping a beat and leaving me covering my mouth, so not to belt out a laugh, the servers says, “It’s beer! It’s water, yeast, hops and Barley… Most of it comes from the ground,” server smiles. I almost piss myself! George gives the server one of those looks like he’s smelling a turd and belts out in an angry voice, “Don’t you care about the Earth and Sustainable living, man?” Server looks at George in the eyes, “I like to serve you a beer, if you’d like to order one!” (The Doctor has to go to the bathroom before he pees himself!)

Back to Jeb….. Jeb is sipping his Pils and trying to talk to a young bearded fellow, “Have ya ever had this Cherry Beer?” No response from bearded dude, who’s sitting with a dumpster dressed chubby chick with obvious non-prescription glasses and arm pit hair.

In the meantime, George is asking the server about a Hopworks beer on cask and trying to shed his “cask” knowledge with the server. “You know, cask beers are kind of watered down do to the casking process, so they never taste right to me.” Server says, “Ah, OK” he continues standing and waiting for George’s order. George finally orders a very ordinary local IPA.

Jeb has finished his Pils and tries one more time to gain some beer info from the server…. Who takes zero interest. Jeb pays his bill and leaves.

George starts talking to a new arrival about his knowledge (or lack there of) of Bridgeport’s Fallin Friar and how they ferment the entire beer in Whiskey casks. He rambles on about the high quality of Belgian Triple that Bridgeport has made and how Triple means it’s triple fermented in different oaked BARRELS…. The server stands at the bar between Jeb and George and talks with a friend.

What’s wrong with this story? Let’s pretend it’s game….. What’s your opinion of our two beer drinkers, server and others at the bar? Does this sound like a pub one might learn something about the local beer scene or even gain some beer knowledge? Wanna know which lovely establishment I was imbibing? Are ya sure?! ;-}